this beer tastes like vomit already
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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