Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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