I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
