so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
