How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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