last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
