dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We were destined to go to rehab together
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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