Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
