Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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