508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
