Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
