Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
