Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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