I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
