she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
