I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
This girl is more easily done than said...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
