I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
