i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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