idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
