No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
