I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
