I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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