The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
