Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
