I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
