I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
