Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
