So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
