Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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