So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
