a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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