Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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