Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
