i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
