You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Randomize