the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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