i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
