Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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