I look better un-naked...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
