I'm lost and stupid without you.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
