babies were throwing up all over the place
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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