Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
