quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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