You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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