I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
