So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
