so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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