I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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