it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
