Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
