in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
