bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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