You just made me feel so damn special
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
