All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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